renfeng KE

Excuse me? Circle ID??!!

I saw these ads whilst doing weekly work of translating news from Circle ID for organisation... Excuse me?? Is is..is it appropriate to have this there? Do they exactly regard people who work in high-tech / IT industries as their target that may need Vimax...???? Hum-hum....

My last days in London

After enjoying a relaxed afternoon yesterday in Windsor, I've turned into hell immediately in less than 24 hours. Life in London is just like its weather, once you are about to happy for sunshine, the following freezing rain/snow would pour down these little flames relentlessly. 

This is my freezing schedule today, as tradition, I had a fight with others again when I feel tired.

• 1100 Peter's tutorial
• 1130 LCC Library - return books and borrow some more / print out airticket to Venice & trainticket to Lyon
• 1330 Lunch at home & settle books down
• 1430 Lloyds TBS bank to transfer deposit to Venice
• 1530 LCF Library - return books and borrow some more

and also bought a coke there, where the man works in counter didn t want to accept my pennies to buy that coke. according of his saying he was too busy that unable to count my coins, then even didn t want to sell that damn coke bottle to me.

so, i told him:

I am sorry, are you telling me that YOU, a person who works in counter which suppose to count coins as part of YOUR job, are refusing to count my coins because it's too many that you regard it as wasting YOUR time which you are supposed to spend your time on this?? Well, tell you what, I am gonna take this bottle away and leave these damn coins here wheather you want to count them or not, or you could ask your manager out to count them with you.  How About That?!  ( You could use english better only when you are pissed off, and yes, I was easily pissed off when.... they pissed me off. brrrrrrrrrrr ^0^)

• 1630 Royal Festival Hall - managed to study but happened to have a fire alarm... ( lucky me =="...)

So, I have to carry four heavy boring books and one laptop, walked along the river under freezing rain about 20 minutes toward to my favorite Italian restaurant - AMANO to finish these damn books, literature review, in order to catch up my schedule before heading to Venice.

Fortunately, now is 2000, I almost finished my books and ready to go home for my first short break today. Thank God.

Another lovely day somewhere we call it Windsor or on the way to

38的人

看了宏賢在facebook po的“38歲那年“後，不禁莞爾。

不知何起，也不知何故，開始享受3開頭後的人生，雖然也沒開始幾天，甚至不到一時半載，但感覺似乎又更加自信的知道該如何生存。

是的,是生存，不是掌握人生、生命、生活方向什麼僗什子的恩恩啊啊...而是給我他媽的活下去，是在感到低潮、掙扎的時候，相信會有力量讓自己爬起來。 Like Momo used to said: it makes me stronger.

在某方面，我同時體悟到自己心智年齡還真不成熟，但我也期待未來即將來臨的這段探索過程，透過體悟的衝擊得到的體悟，並且在下次衝擊中檢驗上回體悟的程度而產生的新的體悟，並再度期待不間斷的循環。

花花也很堅強的自己跑去做了一天「邁阿密刺青客」，他給老娘我行為上的製碼、與身體上的符碼，從頭到尾自己搞定，沒有我跟pp在身邊，看來，這一年我們都自己跟自己搞了不少事。

一直都感受到周圍環繞的那股濃濃的善意（不是濃情蜜意...），不但給了自己很大的空間與祝福，讓我在倫敦肆無忌憚的體驗生活，不用去擔心生活經濟上的壓力，也沒有任何意念與言語上的質疑，並且相信回家後迎面而來的會是溫暖的問候與擁抱，真的很謝謝你們ㄋㄟ，幫我寄食物怕我因為不會煮餓到、買相機帶相機、聽我在倫敦不負責任的燒錢還發牢騷、幫我從台灣繁忙的工作隔離讓我恣意享受生活、默默看我blog給予適度的關心又怕太直接傷我自尊...(天阿，套句我媽的話：你們怎麼會想跟這個人交朋友啊....）

快回家了，一點也不擔心3以後的生活，好歹前頭有38的宏賢，還有一個45的前輩，有大家（對阿...大家同梯），這，感情好就是人生啊 。

I Am Thinking... about... Time

在英國快一年，也快回家了，就好像在當兵，從上飛機到現在，我沒見過媽媽一面，這樣說起來，甚至比當兵還慘。

我很想媽媽，隨著離回家的時間越來越近，我就越來越想媽媽。

想著想著，沒流眼淚，但卻一驚，因為想到比思念還深的思念，是懷念。

要是，也總有一天是，我即便坐飛機也見不到媽媽的那一天.... 該怎麼辦... 沒有答案，但終有時。

一直在想，什麼理由讓自己留下，不管是哪裡，有答案了，有媽媽的地方就是家。 （是不是有機會拍英倫版的“鐵牛運功散“...）

Serenity Prayer

This is beautiful and what I am expecting for: 

God grant me the serenity, to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time; enjoying one moment at a time; accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;... and may be reasonably happy in this life.

Je suis contente

30

My 30

The day of my 30.

I realize I've been an adult, at least should be, am wondering when did it happen and arguing how to make it stop.

I miss the days I had, and the days I couldn t have.

I miss the things I had, and the things I couldn t have.

I miss Mom,  miss you, every any of you, and I miss YOU.

I don t know what I have had and what I don t have.

I cried while taking shower but don t know what I was crying for.

I cry for many words I wish to say but not able to, and things I wish would be never happened but not able to.

I couldn t image that crying would become in the way of celebrating my Dirty Thirty which may be the last thing that I could think of, but feel good to have it.

I don t know what I could have and what I couldn t have in the coming future.

I just miss the things I couldn t have, even though I don t know what they are.

I just know I lost the things I never have, even though I don t know what they are.

The day of my 30.

I realize I know nothing, and think it may be the life it should be and may be my life it should be.

Yes, on the day of my 30, I called off everything just wish to be alone and thanks for everyone who wants to come along.

When All The Stars Were Falling

photo from: Industry Is Virtue

On the day before being officially 30, I AM CONFUSED. Not slightly but overwhelmingly. Not about one thing but everything. My whole life.

It also pathetically makes me realize that how useless my brain is which only brings confusion but does nothing good at resolving or answering these annoying feelings and questions come out from ifself. And how pathetic that I am pissing on my life.

And since my brain is a factory only manufactures confusions but no answers because it is so stupid, what I have it for???

Now I . Am. Even. Confused. Thank you!

This is Content-led: Seediqbate

 

魏德聖的　［賽德克巴萊］　血淚史

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted; A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace. What profit hath he that worketh in that wherein he laboureth? I have seen the travail, which God hath given to the sons of men to be exercised in it.

Move on to the final term of my journey