I am scared, but try not to , at least not to show, at least not to show too much.
Got a mail from pp this morning, heard of her mom gets breast cancer. I know she must be scared, and I am sorry not be able to by her side when she needs me. After hearing from mom told me sister has breast cancer, this is the second person I know. I feel terrible, I feel I am a lousy person who could not do anything to people I love and care. And also, I am scared.
I am not that type to choose run away when something happened, I always stand there to face it, and deal with it. So that this situation makes me feel worse that I cannot do anything for them. I feel helpless and useless.
So that I pray, but I don t know what I should pray for. Pray for health? for happiness? for wealth? I feel lost.
'coz if, I mean eventually something will come into our life someday which is not avoidable, what's the use if we pray for health, happiness, long life for which are things may not be belonged when something meant to be happened at the time...
I realized it is a nature circle that our parents are getting old, and we eventually need to grow up and be strong. We cannot pray their life for lasting forever, we cannot pray for having happiness all the time.
So here I pray, I pray for serenity, and shall be my only prayer:
God grant me the serenity, to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time; enjoying one moment at a time; accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;... and may be reasonably happy in this life.
I pray for being guided, and most of all, I pray for not to think that much.
(maybe he is right. I need have party all night...)
